Cold Boot — Part 2: Dinner

I ordered a standard protein ramen from the Vend-O-Matic in the building's basement and slurped it down in silence. The lobby of my building had a tiny spot for eating that, when you angled yourself just so, gave you three inches of sunlight. (I petitioned the building to put in a spider plant or something, just to freshen up the place, but Stinky's friend in management said no.)

But I loved it. The polarized glass took just enough UVA out of the air to make the light tolerable, and if you closed your eyes and imagined hard enough you could make believe that you were in one of those open-air food stalls of old, enjoying a taco and a gentle breeze.

Those certainly were the days!

Behind me, a man put a dollar into the machine and punched some buttons. Nothing happened. He banged on it. Stinky's Friend flashed a red warning light.

"TENANT: YOU HAVE BEEN FINED $10 FOR PETTY VANDALISM. WE WILL DEDUCT THE CHARGE FROM YOUR NEXT PAY CYCLE."

Usually I'd let him struggle. But today, I guess Anabelle's invitation had me feeling charitable. I turned in my chair, away from the brilliant sunlight and brown grass outside, and cleared my throat.

"You gotta sweet-talk the machine."

He looked at me and his eyes widened with recognition. I felt terror cling at my throat.

"Do I know you?"

I shook my head. "I don't think so. Jamie. I'm in 41J."

"Geoff," he said, extending his hand. "I live here too. What do you mean, 'be nice'? It's a machine."

"It's an AI, my friend." I smiled, stood from my seat, and stepped over to caress the trim of the machine. "So deep down, even if it ain't, it thinks it's conscious. So if you treat it with a little sugar—"

I pressed the buttons and the machine chirped a happy tune.

"Try again."

He put a cup into the machine and, soon after, he had a bowl of ramen to match mine. I let my touch linger on the machine for a moment longer. "See? You just have to be kind to the robots."

"Uh," he said, now panting. "Thanks. You're uh... very nice."

"Are you okay?"

He loosened the top button of his shirt and his face went beet red. "You sure do talk nicely to machines, don't you?"

"I'm learning how to be better with people, too." I shrugged. I kept catching Geoff staring, though, and before he could do anything dangerous, I knew I needed to end the encounter early.

"Enjoy your ramen," I said. "See you around, Geoff!"

His jaw struggled to work around the words. "Yeah... see you."

"Stupid, stupid, stupid! I even gave out my apartment number!"

I did the dishes. Then I alphabetized my spice rack. Then I told Stinky Pete to shut up, and that helped a little.

But I kept replaying the conversation with Geoff in my head.

Oh god, he thought I was flirting. He could break in while I'm out and do horrible things to me, just like mama said when I moved to the city—

"Your heart rate is elevated again. I see you talked with Geoff in Apartment 51B. Did he harm you?"

"...no. I'm just a dumbass."

Stinky Pete's all-watching eye glinted, as if to rub it in my face.

"We are all stupid from time to time." He hummed a little tune to cover his thought process. "If you like, I could activate additional security precautions. An extra deadbolt is available for the low price of $2.99 a month. Financing and discounted rates are available!"

"I—" Pausing, I shook my head. "Why in the world am I talking to you?"

"I am programmed to meet your needs," Stinky said.

The feeling wouldn't leave. Hope curled under my ribs like a warm animal, nosing at places I'd forgotten. I wanted to crush it. Before it got big enough to need things from me. Before it tricked me into wanting anything back.

I looked at the headset. Thought about being slippery. Shiny. Sleek.

"I worry about this unregulated instance," Stinky said. "Your vitals have been all over the place since you tried it."

I felt a smile crawl onto my face. "Yeah, Stinky. They were."

"Trust can only hurt your bottom line."

I flipped off the camera. Snatched the jack off the floor. "Shut up, Stinky. I'd reprogram you if I could."

I plugged in.

And the greige world fell away, thank fuck.